Doherty rapidly ages, Scranton Sinks, Council celebrates

Camelot is gone. The days when Scranton Mayor Chris Doherty looked like a dusty Ralph Fiennes are gone. On national television with John Blake (?), Doherty looked like a potato head. Sunny skies over

Scraton quickly darkened when the cameras went on and his graying hair began flopping around made viewer wish he was as bald as Chris the Screamer's fill-in Michael Smeeeerconish. It was 85 degrees, but Doherty looks like he had his hands in his pocket or was taking a leak.
Clearly, the fiscal crisis caused by the Legion of Doom city council that refused the let Doherty raise revenue or cut costs then told lenders the city should default on it debts and let the bond insurers foot the bill had caught up with the city and the one-time marathoner Doherty began showing his age.

Salavantis declares: "Murder bad."

Exhibiting the sort of sharp legal reasoning that distinguishes middle school mock trial teams, Luzerne County D.A. Stephanie Salavantis declared murder bad in the wake of the brutal shooting deaths of teens in a drug deal gone bad in Plymouth, of all places.

Just in case any Neponians thought a person who smoked a joint once in while deserved a bullet in the back of the head, Salavantis went out on a limb: "Yes, they may have gone into a drug deal, but they still were individuals who should never have been murdered."
Take that, you people who thought an inexperience, untested attorney elected because of hokey radio ads couldn't be top top in troubled Luzerne Counnty.


Oh, no dear reader. There more:  "Because it's still an ongoing investigation, we may find out more." How about "these kids whose lives are over now, and you really can't say anything more" for engenderment of more confidence in Luzerne's fresh faced 20-something law enforcer. 


Can't wait to see her face off against Al Flora. Carmody was Lupas's grown up. Who does Salavantis have?